Relationships are hard. You have to work at them. Sometimes you bring in your past ghosts that can haunt a new relationship. Fear of abandonment and vulnerability are scary ghosts that can join you on your journey. These are mine. I never knew about all my ghosts only the one. I have just recently gone through a breakup. I, in my true CJ fashion, self-sabotaged the relationship so I could count on what the outcome was going to be. I made him believe untruths about me and it worked, as it usually does. This time for me…. it was different. I was different. I tried to give him a heads up. Maybe he could help me. Maybe he could help me get past this. No deal. Yet, a breakthrough has happened. I’m done with this constant outcome. I’m done with the ghosts of my past always prevailing. I can fix this. In the end, him and me, we both lose. We lost something that could have been great. I believed that we are connected. A sort of soul tie. I have even tried to break it so we can be relieved from each other but, the tie stayed connected.

In the intricate dance of love and connection, fear of abandonment can cast a shadow over even the most promising relationships. This fear, rooted in worry of being left behind or unloved, can hinder personal growth and strain the bonds we cherish. By acknowledging, understanding, and actively working to overcome this fear, we can have healthier more resilient connections.

Tips on overcoming these fears:

1: Reflect on past experiences – understanding the origin of you fear is crucial. Identifying patterns and triggers gain insight into the root of your problem.

2: Practice self compassion- embrace this as you navigate your fears. Be kind to yourself. Everyone carries emotional baggage. self love is essential to a healthy relationship.

3. Open Communication- this is a hard one. You need to share your fears with your partner in an open and honest way. This can bring you closer together, creating a space for vulnerability that is safe.

4. Build trust through consistency- Be reliable and dependable in your actions.

5.Focus on the present- Shift your focus from potential future scenarios to the present moment. This one is so hard for me. Mindfulness can help ground you in the reality of your relationship reducing anxiety about what might happen and allows you to appreciate what is happening now. I really need to do this one.

Overcoming these fears is a journey that requires self-reflection, open communication, and commitment to personal growth. By actively addressing these fears I know I can build stronger, more resilient relationships and create the foundation of trust and security that allows love to flourish. I know the right person is going to come along and will love me. That fear is laid to rest.

“Sometimes receiving love is harder with an attachment wound because when we let love in as adults, we’re also letting in the reality that our needs weren’t met when we were young-and that hurts. Consider that you’re not pushing love away so much as the painful reminder that accompanies it” Rising Women