Dating can be a nightmare, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve had my fair share of dates that could easily pass for horror stories. The dating scene these days? Terrifying. It’s so bad that some people are opting out altogether. But in the spirit of Halloween, I thought I’d share the ultimate date from hell I’ve experienced. Buckle up—this one takes the cake.

It all started with one of those Facebook “people you may know” suggestions. You know how it goes—you share a few mutual friends, maybe even went to the same school, and suddenly Facebook thinks you’re meant to be. I kept seeing this cute guy popping up on my feed, and apparently, he noticed me too because eventually, he sent a friend request.

We had so much in common—shared friends, went to the same high school (though he was a few years ahead of me), and both of us had kids. We were even going to be in Hawaii at the same time with our kids. Score, right? He invited me to a Cavs game, floor seats no less, back when LeBron was playing. But before that exciting night, we decided to meet up for a casual first date at a charming little wine bar. Sounds perfect, right? Famous last words.

The day of the date, he messaged me saying he’d had a reaction to face paint from an event with his kid and that his face was swollen. He’d taken Benadryl but was still puffy. No big deal, I thought. I’m in surgery—I’ve seen worse. So, I reassured him and told him not to worry about it. The date was still on.

I arrived at the wine bar, and there he was waiting for me like a gentleman. He looked just like his profile picture, albeit slightly swollen—but nothing alarming. We greeted each other and headed inside. The place was as cozy as I’d hoped, with booths styled like wine barrels. But as soon as we sat down, things took a turn.

I picked one side of the booth, and he… slid in right next to me. Not across from me, but on the same side. I barely knew this guy, and suddenly, I was squished against the wall with him hovering next to me. I’m all for personal space, and even with a boyfriend, I wouldn’t sit on the same side of a booth. So, this felt super uncomfortable. I tried to laugh it off and casually mentioned how weird it was, but he didn’t budge.

Now, this guy had done pretty well for himself and started talking about how he’d pay for me and my kids to island hop while we were in Hawaii. A little much for a first date, right? Still, I smiled and made small talk about how I was excited for the Cavs game.

That’s when it happened.

As I lifted my glass for a sip of wine, I felt him lean in… and sniff my hair. Not a subtle sniff either, but a full-on, Silence of the Lambs, inhale. I froze, mid-sip, completely freaked out. He was still in my hair when I blurted, “Did you just smell my hair?” He awkwardly tried to explain, saying it reminded him of his kid. ICK. I was officially creeped out.

At that point, I was desperate to escape. My body was practically retreating into itself, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. And that’s when he decided to go in for a kiss. I dodged it, pushed him away, and muttered something about needing to leave.

Even walking me to my car, he still didn’t get the hint. He tried for another kiss, and I had to tell him flat out that we could just be friends. And yeah, the floor seats were tempting—so I stupidly agreed to go to the game. I know. I know.

So, that was my date from hell. Now, it’s your turn. Have you been on a nightmare date that left you running for the door? Share your scariest dating stories, and I’ll post the most spine-chilling one in honor of spooky season. Let’s see whose dating disaster reigns supreme.

But here’s where it gets worse. After the date, he bombarded me with texts and calls, turning into a full-blown clingy mess. Baby Reindeer vibes. I had to block him eventually. And to top it all off, he tried pulling the same creepy stuff on a co-worker of mine! Fortunately, she was already in on the whole “hair sniffing” thing and shut him down immediately.

Relationships are hard. You have to work at them. Sometimes you bring in your past ghosts that can haunt a new relationship. Fear of abandonment and vulnerability are scary ghosts that can join you on your journey. These are mine. I never knew about all my ghosts only the one. I have just recently gone through a breakup. I, in my true CJ fashion, self-sabotaged the relationship so I could count on what the outcome was going to be. I made him believe untruths about me and it worked, as it usually does. This time for me…. it was different. I was different. I tried to give him a heads up. Maybe he could help me. Maybe he could help me get past this. No deal. Yet, a breakthrough has happened. I’m done with this constant outcome. I’m done with the ghosts of my past always prevailing. I can fix this. In the end, him and me, we both lose. We lost something that could have been great. I believed that we are connected. A sort of soul tie. I have even tried to break it so we can be relieved from each other but, the tie stayed connected.

In the intricate dance of love and connection, fear of abandonment can cast a shadow over even the most promising relationships. This fear, rooted in worry of being left behind or unloved, can hinder personal growth and strain the bonds we cherish. By acknowledging, understanding, and actively working to overcome this fear, we can have healthier more resilient connections.

Tips on overcoming these fears:

1: Reflect on past experiences – understanding the origin of you fear is crucial. Identifying patterns and triggers gain insight into the root of your problem.

2: Practice self compassion- embrace this as you navigate your fears. Be kind to yourself. Everyone carries emotional baggage. self love is essential to a healthy relationship.

3. Open Communication- this is a hard one. You need to share your fears with your partner in an open and honest way. This can bring you closer together, creating a space for vulnerability that is safe.

4. Build trust through consistency- Be reliable and dependable in your actions.

5.Focus on the present- Shift your focus from potential future scenarios to the present moment. This one is so hard for me. Mindfulness can help ground you in the reality of your relationship reducing anxiety about what might happen and allows you to appreciate what is happening now. I really need to do this one.

Overcoming these fears is a journey that requires self-reflection, open communication, and commitment to personal growth. By actively addressing these fears I know I can build stronger, more resilient relationships and create the foundation of trust and security that allows love to flourish. I know the right person is going to come along and will love me. That fear is laid to rest.

“Sometimes receiving love is harder with an attachment wound because when we let love in as adults, we’re also letting in the reality that our needs weren’t met when we were young-and that hurts. Consider that you’re not pushing love away so much as the painful reminder that accompanies it” Rising Women

“Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences”

Dating in this new modern world can be very confusing and tiring. With social media and instant gratification, how does one date? I hear many people complain that they miss how things use to be. Dating was simpler and more romantic in earlier times. Face to face interactions and hand written letters evokes a nostalgia that I believe people still want. Is it out there?

I have been dating this summer in a more unconventional way. I met someone organically who just so happens to be 21 years younger than me. Yes. You read that correctly. 21 years younger. Now I do not look like my age as I find most people from my generation and very youthful in our looks. This man who has taken me out on dates has shown me that this kind of dating still exists. I really had thought that ideal of dating was dead. In one particular date, I had found myself in a beautiful park, in a gazebo, at sunset with this man. The park was filled with all kinds of people enjoying the day as a picturesque scene from a classic movie. Here we are in this gazebo. He puts on old romantic music and then calls for my hand to slow dance with him. I was stunned and a little embarrassed at first. I took his hand and started dancing. I said to him that people didn’t do this anymore. He replied “but they should”. He is right. This is what is lost. this is what I think we are all searching for.

The universe has a funny of showing you things. This romance always had an expiration date as I am leaving in 2 weeks to go back home to my state and go back to my real life once again. He has made me remember things I have forgotten. Feelings of love that has been lost to time. He does not understand that we really could never have been. I am done with having children and that is a gift I could never take away from him. He has big dreams and so do I. We would only distract ourselves from those dreams. A forbidden romance for sure yet it was a romance none the less. I wrote him this poem and I know he will find the love he deserves. I wish him such a happiness and it gives me hope that I will find love again.

“To feel again these lost forgotten emotions. I remember what it felt like. To dance, be held. I almost let it get away with me. When I feel in your eyes.”

Your mind believes what you tell it, so tell it positive things,

Jennifer Milius

To rearrange your positive, you need to change the way you think. How many times a day does your brain give you a negative thought? Have you really ever kept tract? We are always telling ourselves we need to be healthy; we need to check in with our diet. Well, what if I told you that your diet is not just the food you eat. It is the people that you surround yourself with. It is the books you read. the things you hear and the thoughts that you think. Your health is much more than your body. It is your mind. The two are connected. What if I told you I totally changed my life in three years. I did a lot of self-work. In the beginning it wasn’t easy. Like learning to ride a bike, it takes practice to teach your brain to stop with the negative thinking. You attract what you think. Affirmations are a big part of what you can do to help yourself change that negative talk. Some of the books that really helped me: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. These are some of the books I read that started me on my journey. What are some books that have helped you? Write them in the comments.

I have been single for what sometimes feels like an eternity or six years. Same thing. I think I have tried more than my fair share of dating apps, online dating websites, and meetups. I have a lot of friends all giving these options a try at no avail. When I tell you I could write a coffee table book with various obscene pictures and content, I feel like I’m not alone. For instance, when you’re watching any reels on the subject do you feel like we are all tired of trying to date this way? Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. I have downloaded deleted and repeat more times than I would like to admit. No matter the date no matter the name change, job title I have to wonder. How am I only finding one type of person ugh!!